Wednesday, June 11, 2008

A Lament


LORD, you have known me from my first days,
From the first time that I cried out you heard me.
Now you refuse to lend your ear to my plea.
I can no longer see your plan for me.
When times of great need come to me you are not within distance of my cries.
You allow me to stumble into the darkness and call out in vain.
The measure of my frustration increases,
Now it is I who refuse to call out to you.
All I asked of you was for someone to help me along the way,
A mentor, a teacher;
For more iron to sharpen the iron,
But you refused my request.
Now I am left to struggle on my own,
Turning away from you, increasing my struggles and stymieing my growth.
I had longed to know you and serve you,
But righteousness eluded me and I was unable to be sanctified on my own.
And when I was broken of my own stubborn pride and desires, I called out to you.
Because you did not hear me, my cries were in vain.
I longer care to call out your name.
Will I have to call out and groan for four hundred years,
As the Israelites did in slavery for you to hear me?
Why do you deny me the things that I am passionate about?
If you are a God of justice then how is there unfairness in the world?
How is it that you bless the wicked and deny blessing upon the righteous?
If there is justice within this then I cannot see it.
Show me your will.
Show me your way.
Show me your grace.
Show me your mercy.
Show me your justice.
And now Lord, show me your forgiveness.
Forgive me and love me as you loved your Son.
Restore to me your desires for my heart.
Grant me the honor of relationship with You.
Renew our friendship and give it intimacy.
Allow me to consider your faithfulness in all things.
As you heard the cries of the Israelites long ago,
So also you will hear my plea this day.
You will never forget or forsake me.
Remind me of your awesome presence.
Let me see all the wonders you have provided and allow me to see them clearly.
It is through your grace and love that I have been given life eternally.
- Justin 4/18/2006